🧮 Calculator

Lurker Coefficient

A serious-looking calculator that calmly tells you the truth about your internet usage.

Your lurker coefficient

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Move the sliders. Watch the number go. Feel the diagnosis.

Then send it to someone who needs to see it.

How this calculator works

Move the 2 sliders and the result updates instantly — there is nothing to submit and no account needed.

What you are setting

Views — anywhere from 0 to 10000.
Posts — anywhere from 0 to 200.

What your score means

Stable (0–25:1) — You log off occasionally. Touch grass champion.
Mid (25–60:1) — You are average online. Some recovery still possible.
Concerning (60–90:1) — Your dopamine receptors are in witness protection.
Terminal (90:1 and above) — Schedule a grass-touching intervention with a friend.

This is a for-fun calculator, not a diagnostic tool. The number is only as serious as the inputs you give it.

Common questions

Do I need to submit anything?

No. The result recalculates as you move the sliders, and nothing is sent anywhere or stored.

What are the possible results?

There are 4 bands: Stable, Mid, Concerning, Terminal. Which one you land in depends on the total the sliders produce.

Is it accurate?

It is a fun calculator, not a clinical one. The maths is simple and consistent, but the inputs are self-reported, so treat the number as entertainment.