This quiz takes about 90 seconds. There are no wrong answers β only diagnostic ones.
Take it, share your result, then send the cursed link to whoever needs to hear it.
About this quiz
How Chronically Online Are You? has 5 questions and takes about 60 seconds. There is no sign-up, no score to beat and no right answer β pick whichever option is most honest and the result adjusts as you go.
Each answer adds weight to one or more outcomes. Whichever has the most weight at the end is what you get, so two people answering slightly differently can land somewhere completely different.
All 4 possible results
- π§ Terminal Brainrot β You ARE the algorithm now. Light a candle for your dopamine receptors.
- π³ Lightly Cooked β You feel called out and you should. Still salvageable. Probably.
- β Functional Online β You log on. You log off. You are an inspiration to all of us.
- π± Grass Toucher β You see the matrix and you opted out. Teach us your ways.
Questions you will be asked
- How often do you check your phone?
- A 30-second video starts. Youβ¦
- You open an app to do one thing andβ¦
- β¦and 2 more.